When I moved to Southern California I moved in with my cousin and her two cats Sammy and Tabby. They were litter mates and have never been separated. Due to circumstances beyond her control, Danielle was not able to take the cats with her when she moved out and therefore they became my cats. Sammy has long since outgrown his name and has been renamed Phatness, and he responds to this new name. Tabby has always been svelte and active.
In February, I noticed that Tabby had weird bald patches and I took her into the vet's office and had blood work done, all came back normal. It was assumed she was licking it off. They suggested starting her on some arthritis medication, which I sprinkled on her food. This made her projectile vomit, so it needed to be discontinued. Her hair grew back and life went on.
A couple of weeks ago she started behaving weird again. Not jumping on the counters, laying around by my shoes and/or the trash can a lot. She seemed to be getting thinner. Unfortunately I've been working a TON and didn't have more than a day off at a time for the last three weeks. I thought, well I'll take her in if she doesn't perk up soon. I had made a change in the cats food (in an attempt to feed them a higher quality food that would help Phatness slim down). I switched back to the old food and Tabby seemed to perk up a bit. Plus blood work is really expensive, and I didn't want to have to pay all that again just because she was acting weird, yet again.
Yesterday morning, when I got home Tabby didn't meet me at the door and she was laying in a strange position on the floor. When I sat on the couch she ran over, but barely made the jump on to the couch, then started head bobbing, like she couldn't hold it up. I immediately rushed her to the nearest open vet. An Xray was taken and labs drawn. The film showed a large amount of fluid in her abdomen. Not good, but I was hopeful that something could be done. She was so weak, but my friends Cheri and Marisa came over and they were able to feed her a food/water combo. I set up my air mattress and slept all night with her right next to me. I was really scared she wouldn't make it through the night. I must have woke up 5 times to check and see if she was breathing.
The blood work came back this morning and it was devastating. It was obvious to me based on her blood count that she was bleeding internally. Obviously that was the fluid in her abdomen. I took her in to my usual vet and she told me the prognosis was poor to grave. Given the information and history We could do a lot of traumatic, painful and expensive procedures on her, but she thought it would only buy us a little bit of time. Her suggestion was to let her go. I didn't really consider going through with all the procedures, but I thought maybe I should take her home and spend one more night with her. So I asked Tabby if she was ready to go. And she looked up at me with her sweet little face and let out a silent meow. Bless her little heart, she was telling me it was ok to let her go.
So I did. I can't bare it even now, tears are rolling down my cheeks as I write this. Some animals touch you more than others, and Tabby was one of those for me. I feel so guilty for not taking her in sooner. I know everyone will say that I couldn't have known, that I shouldn't feel bad, but I did know. I was too wrapped up in stupid crap to really pay attention to her, and I feel like such an asshole. I don't know what else to say but that I'm devastated, and I will not ignore Phatness in the same way. I hope you can forgive me, sweet Tabby. I don't think I can forgive myself.
